How to be an encourager

"Big things from little things grow." – The Mustard Seed Song

Today I am going to tell you how to be an encourager. An encourager plants little tiny seeds that can grow into big things, like better relationships, effective projects, and the Kingdom of God. That sounds like a lot, but your job is just to plant the seed. We are not really talking about planting seeds, of course – we are talking about using words.

No matter how little you are, you can be an encourager. But it does take practice, and it is something even big people need to practice.

Here are the rules:

1. Pay attention. When someone is talking or doing something, really listen and observe carefully. We usually are thinking about something else, like what's for lunch.
2. If someone does something for you, say thank you.
3. When someone does a good job, tell them about it and be specific. Use what we call an "I" message: 'I was impressed by the way you looked me in the eye and spoke up clearly when I asked your name'; 'I thought you handled that situation well'; 'I thought what you said was important and you said it very well.'
4. People's 'stuff' does not count, unless it is something they made themselves. Otherwise, we have no control over our stuff, like we have no control over things like our eye color. Instead of 'I really like that shirt,' you might say something like 'I thought you looked especially nice this morning, that yellow is such a cheerful color.'
5. If someone messes up, keep quiet about it, to them and to anyone else. The exception is if you know they want your help; then you can give them one 'point to grow on' – but only one, and only after you have said something encouraging first. Use phrases like 'have you considered...' or 'I have found this to be helpful...'
   
   For example 'I like to keep my glass of milk away from the edge of the table so I won't knock it over by mistake.' 'I thought your idea is interesting-- maybe you could make a list of reasons it should be considered in the future.'

Note: this was written for Marilyn as a children's sermon.